Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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