it hurts more in the daytime
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
