yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
