At least make sure they are 18
Why
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
