he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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