2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
