I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm really into asian looking animals
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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