You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
