can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
ttyl tear gas
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
