Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
