I like to think it a success when the cops are called
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
