You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Randomize
