Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"

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(540): View more from Virginia

Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.

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(425): View more from Washington

He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.

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(904): View more from Florida

my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.

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(914): View more from New York

I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what

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(703): View more from Virginia

so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)

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(240): View more from Maryland

You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand

(240): View more from Maryland

you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed

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