piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he puts the penis in happiness.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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