turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
