Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
