Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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