you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
