that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
