I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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