I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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