I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
