It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
