At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
