you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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