CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
