I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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