idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
