And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
