Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
