How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
wow bdsm is so cute
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