wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Damn victory sex feels great
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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