Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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