How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
