it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
