The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
