I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
