It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
