# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
