I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
