I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
