He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
