Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i out mim tonsoeep
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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