found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
