is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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