we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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