I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Houston, we have a squirter
This baby is an asshole
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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