Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
