Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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