how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
