omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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